Anger is a deadly force, it destroys our lives in various ways. Sometimes it will burst out suddenly, and other times it will disguise itself and spoil your life secretly. Some people feel angry because of strength and strength. They think it is necessary to maintain control. Others think they have the right to express anger. These are some lies that anger tells us.
In fact, when we are angry, we will lose control and our ability to react wisely will weaken. It’s time to look at anger in a new way and understand its true meaning. Then, we can take new steps to help us get angry, make us feel better, and have a clear idea of what to do.
Step 1: Realize that anger is your choice
Anger is not a form of power, strength, or control. It is a toxin and sometimes provides temporary high concentrations. After such a high calm, the individual becomes weaker and more uncertain than before. Not only that, but we must also deal with the negative consequences of our outbreak. basically
Anger narrows our attention, creates confusion, and limits our ability to find constructive solutions.
When angry, stop, take a deep breath, and immediately observe a larger field of view. Put the event in the context. Temporarily make the other party “right”. Tell yourself that you have enough time to do it later. Your main goal is to calm your anger so that you can control it.
Step 2: Identify 24 forms of anger.
Anger disguises itself and manifests itself in many ways. Unrecognizable anger turned into various unstoppable bad behaviors. We must realize that this behavior is just another form of anger and eliminate it fundamentally.
Some of the 24 forms of anger are depression, hypocrisy, self-sabotage, low self-esteem, burnout, negative aggressive behavior, compulsion, perfectionism, small talk, lying, and various addictions. When you realize that anger is exacerbating these dangers, you can take appropriate measures to deal with them.
Step 3: Give up being a martyr-stop dedication and guilt
Most martyrs did not consider themselves to be martyrs. They might describe themselves as suffering for a long time and paying far more than what they got. There is a huge difference between giving and manipulating. The martyr manipulate ashamed.
However, Neis is a deadly toxin, which is exacerbated by anger. When you make someone feel inward, you are hurting them. When people feel inside, they find a way to punish themselves and others. Give up the inner giving and give up the inner feeling. Acknowledge that this is an anger, with no constructive results.
Step 4: Stop casting blame
Blaming others (and ourselves) is an expression of hurt, disappointment and anger, and will never lead to a constructive solution. Don’t blame it anymore. By blaming others, you lose your power. By assuming responsibility, you can take back control. Wait a moment and see the situation through your opponent’s eyes. When you do this, the blame instantly dissipates.
The best defense to avoid injury is to feel good about yourself. The way a person reacts to you will evaluate them more than you. When you stop blaming you, you will let all kinds of resentment. Resentment inevitably affects our happiness and always makes us rebound. Look for and find out the positive aspects of each person. Focus on that.
Step 5-establish realistic expectations
There is nothing that makes us angry and hurt more than the failure of the expectations we have always had. The important thing is to be aware of your expectations. Are they realistic? Does the other person have similar expectations in your relationship?
Let go of unrealistic fantasies. Once this is done, many opportunities for anger are reduced on the spot.
Step 6-Cultivate a grateful heart
See what different people in your life really give you. We often take many things for granted, and don’t even know everything we receive every day.
Take some time each day to write down what you received. Thank you for this. Express thankfulness. The more we thank others, the happier we become.
Also, take a moment to write down everything you gave to others that day. This may be a surprise. We often think that we have given too much, but we have gained very little. This is an important cause of feelings of anger and deprivation. However, when we take time out every day to take a closer look, we are often surprised how much we have received, but the rewards we get are very little. When we see how much money we receive every day, the anger will naturally subside, and we learn to take pleasure in what we give and receive.